Valentine's Day is crap. I hate it. It needs to die in a fire.

Having just thought about what Monday is, and what I hoped it would be just over a year and week ago, I just screwed over my ability to finish my revisions by the deadline. There is no way that I can work on a romantic comedy and have it turn out okay when I'm suddenly dissolving into a crying quivering puddle of goo or something. Trust me, I tried it last year, one of characters nearly got raped. Go ask Prof Cohen.

I don't think I have issues with writing at any time of day. I have issues with keeping my emotional state aligned to how I want the scenes and the entire screenplay to turn out. So far, I've been content enough in my daily activities to write something that just needs to be straightened out a little to become a decent rom-com. Now I'm all sad and lonely and crap because two years ago, I was asked out on V-day and managed to be confident I was in love within the following week; and one year ago, he broke up with me on the 3rd, while I was shopping for a $200 round-trip train ticket down to Springfield, Virginia to see him for the double romantic holiday a little early because I was supposed to work on a film shoot the real weekend. This is not a mood for trying to work on a romantic comedy. Last year, I wanted to just kill everyone in my script because I was very pessimistic about Love. This year, I don't know what might happen to the characters, and I don't want to do extra plot rewrites because I was sucked back into my own heartbreak and did damage to my intended plot.

It's going to be a few days late while I try to compartmentalize this crap so I can write what I want to and not what I'm feeling. Because otherwise, I might screw it all up by letting the douchy crush from high school pressure innocent Elizabeth of the delicate emotional balance into having sex, and i'd probably make it her first time even though she's past the crazy college years when everyone else who didn't lose it in high school loses it, she'll turn to the craft knife deeper than usual, and then I've got one major character dead, two depressed that she's dead, one whoring it up because her fiancée left her, and the last douchily saunters off into oblivion. That's not what I want. I want one super happy couple, one repairing/starting over couple, and the fifth wheel not being a fifth wheel because of meeting someone with potential at the end.