Valentine's Day is crap. I hate it. It needs to die in a fire.

Having just thought about what Monday is, and what I hoped it would be just over a year and week ago, I just screwed over my ability to finish my revisions by the deadline. There is no way that I can work on a romantic comedy and have it turn out okay when I'm suddenly dissolving into a crying quivering puddle of goo or something. Trust me, I tried it last year, one of characters nearly got raped. Go ask Prof Cohen.

I don't think I have issues with writing at any time of day. I have issues with keeping my emotional state aligned to how I want the scenes and the entire screenplay to turn out. So far, I've been content enough in my daily activities to write something that just needs to be straightened out a little to become a decent rom-com. Now I'm all sad and lonely and crap because two years ago, I was asked out on V-day and managed to be confident I was in love within the following week; and one year ago, he broke up with me on the 3rd, while I was shopping for a $200 round-trip train ticket down to Springfield, Virginia to see him for the double romantic holiday a little early because I was supposed to work on a film shoot the real weekend. This is not a mood for trying to work on a romantic comedy. Last year, I wanted to just kill everyone in my script because I was very pessimistic about Love. This year, I don't know what might happen to the characters, and I don't want to do extra plot rewrites because I was sucked back into my own heartbreak and did damage to my intended plot.

It's going to be a few days late while I try to compartmentalize this crap so I can write what I want to and not what I'm feeling. Because otherwise, I might screw it all up by letting the douchy crush from high school pressure innocent Elizabeth of the delicate emotional balance into having sex, and i'd probably make it her first time even though she's past the crazy college years when everyone else who didn't lose it in high school loses it, she'll turn to the craft knife deeper than usual, and then I've got one major character dead, two depressed that she's dead, one whoring it up because her fiancée left her, and the last douchily saunters off into oblivion. That's not what I want. I want one super happy couple, one repairing/starting over couple, and the fifth wheel not being a fifth wheel because of meeting someone with potential at the end.

I think Elizabeth hates me back.

With the major changes planned for my script, I thought it might be best to write a full short story version of my script, something around 20 pages maybe. I've decided Elizabeth hates me back because every time I sit down with a notebook or computer to work on her story, it's so hard to nail her down. She's slippery, and she's reserved so she doesn't even want me understanding her, but I keep trying. She's stealing my pens.

Jennelle's pretty easy to work with because I hadn't fleshed her out that well in the first draft. Hannah's at least fun, if a little crazy. Of the two main guys, Marco already has more behind his actions, and I'm a little iffy on what's inside Davin's head. I don't really know any guys who would have or would admit to having a secret desire to break things off with a gorgeous woman for a plainer woman with a more interesting mind. Okay, I know one who would say that; he dumped me a year ago and is currently seeking out NSA sex with the hottest girls who will sleep with him, which has apparently been a fair number despite the fact he's overweight and his an inflated esteem for his own intelligence and opinions. I don't think I can fill out Davin's personality based on my ex, because that would change his character way too much.

So, Elizabeth doesn't want to be understood, and I have little basis for trying to understand Davin either. At least I have a few people to think of as piecemeal models for Elizabeth.

I'm beginning to think that psychology would be the best thing to have minored in while in a screenwriting program.