I have just discovered that maybe to write this script, I need to be depressed. And that sucks because I'm not anymore. Something snapped back to rights on Monday and I have felt much better the whole week. Unfortunately, I find I no longer care about writing Elizabeth's story or giving her a happy ending. I'm not feeling mean like I want to kill her off, I just don't care about her. That's really bad because now I'm married to her for another term and a half, and I have to write nearly 120 pages about her. Making decisions about what to spend six months writing when one is depressed is a bad idea, especially when one is merely going through a depressive period and could snap out of it like I just did.
Remember how I said I spun out the idea of Elizabeth and exaggerated and embellished it from a kernel of my depressive self? Yeah... so, I used to feel connected to her because I saw potential for me to end up going down such dark roads... And now I'm not depressed and I don't feel that connection anymore. Oh! So that's what Prof Bronte meant. Right-o, if I can make her someone I care about again, then I'll have fixed that problem.
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